Sex, Drugs, and…Rocky Road?!
Have you ever chugged a Big Gulp of Diet Coke in a fit of post-dessert party mania?! Are you a Milk Pong Master? Maybe you’re just super into mushrooms? As Sadie teaches Maddie about the MANY forbidden beverages of her LDS youth, Maddie regales us with tales of afterparty shenanigans. *Disclaimer: despite strong evidence to the contrary, we assure you this episode was recorded when both missionaries were sober.*
Modesty v. Nudity
Did you wear t-shirts under your spaghetti strap Gap dresses? Or do you think we should be naked at all times? Get ready for a deep-dive into Modesty: a “cornerstone” of Mormon culture. The missionaries talk Garments, Bermuda shorts, and two-piece bathing suits, and how modesty functions in secular society (shocking twist- it’s an agent of the patriarchy!).
Salt Lake Swingers: Polygamy to Polyamory
Polygamy, Polyamory, Polygyny, Polyandry…things are getting crowded this week as the girls talk group sex, plural marriages, and the VIBRANT Salt Lake City Swingers Scene. Come for the spin the bottle stories, stay for the Joseph Smith f*ck boy antics.
Ditch the V-Card: Reclaiming Your Sexual Debut
Sadie and Maddie are BACK and ready to leave all things 2020 firmly in the past, including outdated notions about virginity. Instead of getting hung up on losing your virginity, your two favorite missionaries are here to encourage you to embrace the concept of making your sexual debut. If you’re ready to leave the land of heavy petting behind you, make a quick stop at the BYU Health Clinic to stock up on the Mormon penetration starter pack: lube, vaginal dilators, and helpful info about pre-heating your “oven.”
Sadie and Maddie are ready to talk about all things Porn. They bust out some fun facts about porn usage in religious communities and give you the low down on which celeb sex tapes are worth your time (and which one is boring). Does having a separate cell phone dedicated to porn usage mean you’re a sex addict? Does it count as swearing if you say Flip with all the conviction of uttering f^ck? Answers to these pressing queries and so much more…
Love Languages, Crystals, and Mid-Church Back Rubs
After a brief hiatus (did you miss us?!) Maddie and Sadie are back to dish on the love languages, and the spicier alternative: the turn on trigger. Plus astrology, crystals, and the ultimate Mormon erogenous zone. Also, you may want to take notes on this one…because Sadie drops the Secret to Relationships…and to LIFE?! Seriously, you don’t want to miss this.
Mormon Sex Swings, Light Spanking, & Smelly Shoes
Your favorite missionaries are back and ready to talk all things kink, fetish and fantasy. Maddie plunges into the deep end with her experiences, while Sadie dips a toe into sharing her spiciest story thus far… before going back to talking about Twilight. Plus, some (not so scandalous) UNguilty Pleasures, tips on selling your shoes on eBay, dirty talk that would scandalize your bishop, and MUCH more.
Sluts They Are Both?
Sadie and Maddie dig into Mormon dating, glow in the dark fun-tivities, and misadventures in Snapchat sexting. Plus, a discussion of the lies we were taught by Disney Channel Original Movies and a lengthy chat about the extended MacDonald fam (Norm, Ronald and…Old?). Tune in for all the dirty deets on durfing!
Welcome to Our Mission
Did your sex talk involve an in-depth analysis of the lyrics to a Meat Loaf song? Did you tithe your way through college for the benefit of your ward? Do you have any idea what we’re talking about?! Sadie and Maddie are here to chat about sex, religion, and where these two hot topics intersect. Consider this episode our Origin Story, where we’ll debrief on Sadie and Maddie’s backgrounds, and share how the Missionary Podcast came to be. Plus we’ll play a round of Dry Hump, Get Sealed To, and Take Space From! Confused? Take a listen! Join the Mission.